I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
