Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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