Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
the condom got lost in my hair
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
