I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
