Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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