Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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