No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
