You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
