He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
