is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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