then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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