i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I deserve this hangover.
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