I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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