that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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