your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just threw up on my dentist
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
