Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I understand Curling. That high.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
