it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
