Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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