i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
