He is an equal opportunity slut.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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