Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
