I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
