chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
