Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Less talking, more tequila
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
