Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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