I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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