The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Even my vagina gasped.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
