You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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