oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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