she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
