how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
