Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
