I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
