i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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