ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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