pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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