I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
