8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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