I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize