Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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