Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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