im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
