The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
