I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
