So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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