I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
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Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
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We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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