The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
