TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
