we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
