i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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