Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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