you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
