You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
