sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize