You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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