he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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