You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
