Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
